My Own Saviour
by klcm
Summary: Sometimes the hero needs their own saviour...


Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

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_**If you can't find your way look for me**_

_**'you can't find your way look for me  
god bless  
oh yes  
and once he goes I'm next  
so young  
so fresh  
so right like I don't know left  
and I ain't trying to be the R E S T  
replace the R and throw me a B  
so don't spend ya life trying to find  
something's that's in front of your eyes  
you can spend your whole life time trying to find the answers  
I'll be right here with a helping hand out for you**_

She'd been wandering aimlessly since the case had be officially signed and sealed. She was used to this process but something about this Unsub tortured her to no end. She drove to a clearing she knew too well, got out of the her car slammed the door shut and locked the car up. She took her heels off and left them on the darkened grass as she approached the river, she didn't care that it was late or that she was all alone, she needed this solitude.

As she thought through the last 4 months of her life she faltered and broke, letting her legs crumple beneath her. How was she supposed to see the colours, see the smiles, see the good in people if she was going to be beaten down each and every time she went to work?

She didn't care that Mother Nature had called and allowed the rain drops to bellow around her, soaking into her clothes, allowing them stick to her skin. She didn't care that her makeup was running worse than before, or that her hair was falling out of their curls, she didn't care about anything. She felt numb.

_**and if you can't find your way  
look for me  
look for me  
look for me  
look for me  
look for meeeeeeeeeeeeee**_

Derek sat down on his couch, she had left hastily after seeing them come back into the bullpen, she had flashed him a flawless smile that at the time looked perfect but now thinking back to it, that smiled was flawed. It was sad, it was pained. So he had rang her, but she didn't answer, her angelic voice rang out into his ear but as a pre-recorded message and that wasn't substantial enough to give him peace of mind.

He had gone to her house, to no prevail, he had gone to the diner they frequented but no one had seen her and now he came up short and he didn't know what to do, he didn't know what was wrong with her but her sparkle had been losing its brightness for the last couple of weeks and now only with her missing did he question the reasoning behind it.

He just wished she spoke to him, they always used to but since she got shot, and Lynch wandered into their lives she closed off, not entirely but now she had shut down.

He got up and looked out of the window, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and hush her queries about the world. He would do anything to give her the love she evidently needed but if she was going to go to anyone it would be Lynch, not him.

_**if you can't find your way look for me  
if you can't find you way  
look for me  
and I'll be there  
a wise man told me persevere  
to elevate me in my career  
so still I'm here  
and from my position  
ask wassup like you can't see me**_

_**I just do what needs be  
holla at me if ya need me**_

Penelope stood up, the rain had gotten harder and harsher and now she needed to talk it out, she knew bottling up wasn't going to help so she went to her car, picking up her heels as she went, she got into the car, dripping wet, she threw the shoes and started the car up, she backed out of her parking space and drove.

She shivered from time to time, still soaking wet, she didn't care, she just wanted a haven, a haven with someone she held close. As she pulled up she noticed a light on and a small smile pulled at the corners of her lips.

She just climbed out of the car, leaving the door open as she went and went for the front door; she knocked once and stood out in the rain again. Her tears felt unnoticed by the amount of rain and she prayed that was good, she could hard behind it like a mask.

Except as the door opened her walls crumbled and she broke even more.

_**you can spend your whole life time trying to find the answers  
I'll be right here with a helping hand out for you  
and if you can't find your way  
look for me  
look for me  
look for me  
look for me  
look for meeeeeeeee**_

'Baby girl?' Derek asked as he looked at her, he surveyed her, and the car behind her. 'Pen...' He said stepping out into the rain and engulfing her in a hug. 'Let's get you inside.'

'No... I just needed to see you.'

'Come on your freezing.' He said as they stood in the rain, he just clung onto her, she remained unmoved. 'You're going to catch your death.'

'So...'

'Goddess, come on... you can talk to me.'

'I don't know if I can go on...'

'Penelope!'

'Let me finish.' She pleaded with him and he felt back for interrupting her.

'Sorry.' He said as the rain soaked into him, and he kept her close to his chest.

'I don't know if I can go on without telling you things anymore.'

'Well nothing ever stopped you.'

'I just need a saviour for once.'

He felt the pains twinge in him and it was that word, 'Saviour' that made it worse. They always expected her to be there to pick them up but no one ever saved the hero. 'I'll be your saviour, if you'll let me get you inside.' He released her enough so that he could pelt to push the door closed to Esther, he then ran back snaked his arm around her waist and led her inside. He sat her on his couch and saw that thick tears ran from her eyes and he knew he was right to worry, he grabbed some towels and a blanket and wrapped her up, he wrapped one around him to get partially dry, he then got a pair of track suit bottoms and hoodie for her to change into. He sat opposite her before she silently stood and took the clothes and went for his bathroom, he got another blanket, and changed himself, when she came out he was on the couch waiting for her, she went to sit on the armchair away from him.

'No, next to me Penelope.' She looked at obliged; as she sat he sat up and put the blanket around her. 'Now what's up?'

'Everything.'

'Let it all out.'

'Kevin and me broke up.' She told him sadly, he pulled her back into his embrace, she snuggled comfortable unmistakably soaking up having him close to her. 'He wasn't enough to me, he never would be.' She then sniffed and rubbed her eyes. 'He never let me get things in the open, he never was my saviour, I never felt entirely safe with him... not... not like I do now.' She admitted and felt her cheeks flush hot with a blush at what she just admitted.

'I like to know your safe baby but you should've told me you were unhappy and that you and Lynch weren't together, I would've done my hardest to cheer you up.' He told her and she laughed and he felt better for inducing it. 'I want you to call me whenever Princess, whether it be in broad daylight because you've seen too much in your little bunker or because a nightmares woken you up at 3 in the morning, I'll be right there, whenever you need me.'

'You feel perfect right now.' She said making him laugh this time, he pulled her up and kissed her lips passionately at that point and as she pulled away she smiled a genuine smile that was full with all the sparkle that made her, her. 'I knew I'd find my way back if I looked for you.' She told him and he kissed her again.

'Good to know it baby girl... that's a promise I hope to hold forever.'

_**if you can't find your way look for me**_

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A/N: So this was whizzing around my head so here it is!

Song: Chipmunk ft Talay Riley - Look For Me

I want to thank emzypemzy for curing my doubts so thank you. You utter star you!! =))

Any who!! Let me know what you think!!!


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